I am a tickle-me-elmo...

Those were the good ol days
I talked on the phone last night for 3 hours, and it was nothing but laughing and joking, and yes...don't forget who's writing this, flirting...but friendly flirting of course. It was so much fun...the first actual phone conversation between me and my fellow wave rider. But it seemed like it wasn't the first. We were like twins...saying things at the same time...reading minds(not really...just saying things at the same time), and umm...did I mention saying things at the same time? ha ha ha, good times, good times...Man how I miss talking on the phone w/ friends. It prompts me to call all my old friends and pick up where we left off. Needless to say, I went to sleep...and woke up in a very jovial mood and went to work a happy camper! Let's see what today has in store for me...

Orders orders orders
So me and my sis got into a lil tiff about her telling me what to do. Okay, I am completely cognisant of the fact that I am not perfect and that I can make a lot of mistakes...but I'm always pro-active about bringing resolve to things which need resolve brought to. And when you're telling me what to do as if I didn't know any better? and you don't even know the situation? Well, that's just plain ignorance...and ignorance stands amongst the top 5 of my ultimate pet peeve list...like I've said before, it's tough to understand a situation if you haven't been put through it...sorry...that's just me venting again...speaking of venting....why do people have to talk about their concerns about me with OTHER people??? Argh...sometimes...I want to just confront these people about this, but that would involve me breaching someone else's trust...which I will not do...but talk to ME, PLEASE!!!!

Okay...that's it for now....

I am a paperweight on an empty desk...

A taste of parenthood
I got a real taste of what life could be like being a parent. I had to take care of London all day yesterday after work because Jos and B went to an Elvis Costello(Yes, that's right, ELVIS COSTELLO) concert. They don't always have the opportunity to do something like this so I thought it would be nice to lend a helping hand...plus I love that lil girl, so it's actually good for me! I got to spend time w/ my number one girl...anyway. The plan was to go to my apt, kick it w/ the roomies and Auntie Viv, and acouple of other people who came over to watch the Laker game, make dinner, eat dinner and go back to Jos and B's place to put the lil bubs to sleep. Well, everything went as planned up to the point of putting the lil one to bed...I ALMOST had her asleep when The phone rang and woke her up...after that, NOTHING worked. Not the milk, not reading her story after story, not the rocking...NOTHING. Well, there was one thing, but I don't have any hair @ all for her to pull, which for some reason gives her a lot of comfort...well, so I had NO OTHER options left. So we stayed up...or rather I tried to stay up while she kept playing and playing and playing...where a baby gets her energy from, I'll never know, but I'd sure like to have some. Well, during that time of staying up, the thought crossed my mind...man, this is what Jos and B go through a million more times than I have...and my profound respect for parenthood just deepend w/ every waking minute...every minute until 1:45 AM. It takes a LOT of patience to be a parent folks...a whole lot...

not much else on my mind...I'm just tired...

I am a bowl of spaghetti...

I ran too far yesterday in addition to playing ball. I seriously think I'm overdoing it on the whole getting in shape idea. So now my legs and pretty much my whole body feels like spaghetti. Even my neck hurts, but I think that comes from falling asleep on the couch for a couple hours...but nonetheless, it contributes to my soreness. But hey, no pain, no gain right? I just wish there could be less pain and more gain...

Thoughts to Ponder...
Intimidation...what is it exactly? Because I was told recently that I can be an intimidating person... Judging by the looks of me, I'd have to say, that is quite hard to believe...very hard to believe in fact. Well, I guess before peope used to peg me as a thug, only b/c of the shaved head and the fact that I smoked a lot back then...and therefore considered me somewhat the intimidating type. But that has no basis of validity so we'll just rule that out. So back to the fact...I am considered to be intimidating...and the reason for this was because I seem to be good at everything I do...that is a big misconception. I just ENJOY doing everything I do, which keeps me free from pressures or expectations or whatever...but that's what I think it is. I'm not afraid to do things and maybe it's my "enthusiams"? I don't know, if you figure it out before I do, then please...get to the bottom of it.

Ever wonder why you're drawn to a particular person and not to another? That has always intrigued me. You may have a million things in common w/ a certain person, and you guys get along so well, and there may even be a "chemistry" there, but you're interest lies in another person who doesn't have so much in common w/ you, strange, don't you think? It seems that this aspect of life would be a more on the black and white and not so much the grey area...but nonetheless, it is...love is just one giant grey area. And we are all trying to sift through it...and figure out this enigma. Ahhhh, the paradoxes of romance...and Feelings...and dealing w/ them. I think it just gets more complicated the longer you DON'T deal w/ your feelings....and that's when carnage ensues. So let's avoid the carnage folks...he he he...

I had a ton of "Jaytime" yesterday...I got in a cleaning FRENZY and practically spic n spanned the entire living room and kitchen...it felt good...and I went on a run, watched some FRIENDS season 1...nice to be alone...but during alone time, you kinda think about the concept of alone time, and the concept of being alone...and that's when alone time become being lonely time...ha ha ha. Though it's not a thought to dwell on, I had some time to ponder my "singleness" and my want for non-singleness...and I just want to meet someone who catches me off guard and just wants to spend time w/ me, even if it's doing nothing but walking and talking, that'd be enough for me...and so the thoughts about loneliness passed. We'll just have to see what happens next....

Hmmm....I almost forgot to mention my weekend. I spent Friday night at dinner w/ Friends for Cat's b-day...HAPPY B-DAY CAT!!! And of course that was fun. Cheesecake factory topped by throwing back a couple @ the yardhouse. Her friend was there...and I was tempted to ask her out sometime, but had second thoughts about it and ended up just chattin and not asking for her number or anything, being informed previously about the difficulty in trying to get a date w/ this girl. So I did what I thought I should do and enjoyed the company... Saturday was spent driving back to LA and spending quality time w/ moms shoppin all day and later on puttin up blinds all around the house and moving furniture until I passed out from exhaustion, more or less. Not to mention I watched a series of movies from the "Joy Luck Club" to "Enemy of the State." Sunday, still at the folks' place...I went to church and spent more time w/ the fam, mom, pop, and my sis and niece came over...I even cooked some lunch. We played until it was time for me to head back to the OC. Then I went to a wedding w/ Kay...which was hella fun...I love weddings. That was pretty much my weekend...memorial day was yesterday...so in case you don't have a good memory...see above...

I am the terror that flaps through the nite...

Ahh, how I miss cartoons from when were were lil tykes...Darkwing Duck, Talespin, Ducktales, Smurfs...those were the days. We went to Einstein's in Hermosa Beach for Tony's birthday...it was too far of a drive for too little of kick-it time. But @ least we got to see a good friend we hardly ever get to see...talk about ppl who are bad @ keeping in touch...he should write a book about it... ha ha ha. I never realized how many May-babies there were...I'm gonna get all birthday'ed out. But I love birthday get-togethers...matter-of-fact, I was just thinking about what I wanted to do for my 25th birthday...my 1/4 of a century day, hmmm....I'll probably go out to dinner w/ the homies and then have a big celebration @ a club or something...It'll be a good chance to see people I hardly ever see...

My throat is killing me, Why? well, you'll have to figure that one out, and if you really knew me, you'd proabably be mad, but I've definitely decided that it's not good anymore, it doesn't even really feel good, so sorry. Plus, my allergies have been acting up more and more. I wonder why we have to have allergies...they're so irksome. Runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing, itching...yuck. Anyway, I forgot to take my morning meds...so that's probably why. I hate being so absent-minded.

What a week it's been, and boy am I glad that it's Friday. I get to go home, run, eat, shave my head...and watch the Lakers...the perfect ending for a not-so-perfect week...

I am a bowl of Cereal...

Relationship Maintenance
I was made aware of the fact that I don't do my part in maintaining some of my friendships. Well, I guess they had every right to think that way, seeing that I don't always call and that I don't go visit them all the time. I understand the power of recoprocity in any relationship, and strong friendships at that, but why does it have to be like, "Look @ all the things I do, what do you do?" And I know that something like this isn't gonna put a strain or anything on our friendship, because real relationships w/ friends are rooted in something far deeper than reciprocity...they are rooted in unconditional love. But sometimes the lil things that you do that isn't exactly the type of things that they are doing, but nonetheless, they should be a sign that you are NOT taking the said friendship for granted. I know I am involved in relationships where the other person hardly has to do anything, and that I'm the one reaching out, but that's the way it is...but the friendship is unconditional. I don't expect anything in return or any type of tit for tat type scenarios, I just keep on keepin on, ha ha ha. And of course there's a fine line between an unconditional friendship and one in which one is completely taking the other for granted...but it's not too hard to decipher between the two. But another thing I realize is that not everyone is the same...it's like having a diverse flower garden. You don't treat EVERY flower the EXACT same way, each one requires individual attention and each flower's needs are different from the next. I have to apply that to my relationships...know what each one needs and cater that way...

I finally got my lazy ass up and went running. I ran for about 3 miles...and my body is really feeling the effects of it...man I'm old...:) I just gotta get into a lil routine of running about 3 miles hopefully at least 4 times a week. My goal will be to get to 5 miles in 35-40 minutes...here's to high hopes. And hopefully, in addition, I make it a routine to hit the gym...otherwise, I will continue to waste my $22/month for my stupid 24 Hour fitness membership, argh.

Life's simple pleasures
Through all the business of life and all the chaos, we tend to over look the simplest things in life...and to my, that simple thing is CHILDREN. Spending time w/ my niece at least every wednesday reminds me that there's definitely something more to life than work, and money...and girls. I look at her and her smile just warms my heart...and sometimes I think to myself how envious I am that she doesn't have to worry about anything at this point in her life...she's so innocent...I love that. But then, my mind comes back to reality and I realize that actually, I'm glad that I am at this point in my life and I wouldn't go back to being younger...save for Physical health(I would love to be in the same shape as I was in high school). With age comes a gift that cannot be given in any other way other than through experience...and that gift is wisdom. Not that I'm sooo old that I'd have a lot of wisdom in the first place, just that I know that if I hadn't experience the things that I have in my young life, I'd be very naive about a whole slew of things. When I have kids of my own(which is definitely not anytime too soon), I hope that my experiences and "wisdom" will help them through their own journey through life...

Quote of the day,
"Life's Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late."
-Benjamin Franklin

I am a lil shack in the wake of a storm

Trying Times
If there was ever a time to truly truly believe that "you'll never know what tomorrow may bring," the time is NOW. I was watching the news with my roomies and a couple of friends last nite when they were talking about how it will be inevitable to avoid another terrorist attack, even one of catastrophic proportions, as if the first attack wasn't catastrophic enough. What on earth could catastrophic proportions mean? It's a scary time, and we gotta live in the reality of this new era...but I refuse to live in fear...just live on and think about TODAY....

Some news that I just can't seem to shake. I was just informed this morning that I am being forced to cut my hours in half...due to budgeting and things like that...F-U-C-K. I don't know what I'm gonna do...I was barely getting by as it was...now what? But I know I just have to let it go...after Bible study last night, we were talking about how things are all part of God's bigger plan. So I need to see the positive sides of this event...it'll give me time to look for a better job, some of that "JAYTIME" that I've been wanting so bad lately. Well, there's something else in store, I know it...I just gotta stop dwelling on it and not letting those stupid thoughts into my head. I got by before I had this job, and I will get by again....right? So I pray for the strength to accept those things which I cannot change...

I've smoked several times this week...I'm getting weak, I'm giving in to temptation. Argh...when it rains, it pours...so I gotta get an Umbrella. I am strong enough to handle not smoking...I just don't know why I've been wanting to so much lately. Maybe it's cuz it's just a reaction...that's what I always did when I got frustrated, or was tired, worried, whatever...so in light of seizing the day and really just making the best out of my life...I will put up a stronger effort to not give in to my vices...

Okay, obviously, I'm doing this to avoid something...work...better get back to it...

I am the warrior angel...

Saving Work
Have I NOT learned my lesson from the countless computer crashes when working on something for school? Have I not realized that there is a greater power that be that does not want me to finish ANY work? So naturally, after about 4 hours of working on my new project...PAT325 Laminate Modeling...(sounds interesting, don't cha think? ...NOT!!!!), anyway, so yeah, after all this work...the computer freezes and I have to use task manager to end some tasks, and of course, I lose all the work I've done since 8 this morning...computers really suck ass sometimes...well, I can't dwell on it too long, or else I'll have done absolutely nothing by the end of the day, might as well try to get back to where I was...AARGH!!!! Okay that's it, I'm better now...

Intersting new developments
So I've been thinking about a new person lately...we just met and talked for a bit, but I was definitely interested and felt a bit of a vibe? Vibe? I don't know, maybe...but she's pretty cool...the thing that sucks is that I was too chicken to ask her for her number that day we were talking cuz there were too many people around...what a lame ass excuse. But I am utilizing all of my available resources to do some reconaissance exploring. Hopefully some valuable info turns out. I don't even know if she's single!?!? Well, we'll just have to wait and see....won't we?

Okay okay okay, gotta salvage some work...

I am rejuvenated...

Ahhhh...."Jaytime" appeared to me in the form of three hours of solitide on an overcast Sunday morning in May....I cleared up the bills, picked up around the house, folded some laundry, and sat on the balcony, just thinking....it felt so great. And when the hecticness of life picked right back up around 1 o'clock, I felt totally refreshed and well, rejuvenated. Just the time to do some chores that have been sitting in the back of my mind is all the time I need...just a few hours to myself, about myself. That's all I need to function...

Humanity
I've lost a lil bit of faith in humanity by the occurence of an event this past weekend. Someone I really care about was hurt by some idiots that had no sense at all...my God, there are just some people in this world that don't have a clue...unfortunately. They take advantage of people, they deceive, and just do bad things. I hate when things like this happen, because I instantly become suspicious of every single person as if the whole world was evil. But it's not...we live in a world where good and evil constantly are butting heads. From my experience, I would like to continue believing that GOOD is winning...and as with all other things that happen in life, I gotta see past the bad and look for the good in others. Yeah, not everyone can be trusted, and to those people, the only thing I can say is that their day will come.

Idealism
I think sometimes that I get way to caught up in this idealistic plan I have for myself. And that doesn't only pertain to one aspect of my life, but to every single part of it...friendships, family, career, even relationship stuff. Supposedly, there exists this "way" that "things are supposed to happen." This idealistic, romanticized way that, for example, "the best romantic relationships sprout from those rooted in solid friendships..." Well, being a firm believer of not expecting things to go exactly according to plan or as expected, I have totally neglected that belief in being so idealistic. There's a difference in maintaining a certain type of idealism and living out that idealism. Yes, IDEALLY, I would like things to happen the way I hope...but REALISTICALLY, we all should know that they won't. There's a bigger picture out there, and I constantly fail to observe that. Carpe Deim, do I not say that to people yet not pratice it myself? So here's to Seizing the Day...stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out to do the unexpected. Yes, I consider myself in the genre of the spontaneous type, yet there are some realms which I have not yet allowed myself to explore...

It's raining today...I love the rain. You don't really feel like being active...sorry, corrections, it's ME who doesn't feel like doing anything. It makes you...me just wanna curl up under a blanket and watch a movie...or just chill @ home w/ friends or significant others, but a big iksnay on the sig. others thang. And after the rain, well, it is so nice and refreshing. I wish it rained a lil more often...

I am a lost sheep...

...Tears in the darkness...
Silence...emptiness...
The void is engulfing me,
Swallowing me, slowly...tightening,
like the death grip of a python upon it's prey.

I reach out, blind in this ordered chaos.
Trapped in a maze,
I know not where to go.
I scream out....
nothing....

The silence is deafening,
Attempting to crush my soul.
Attempting to take away every sense until
all that is left is fear.
The scales start tipping...

I fall to my knees,
Agony and despair begin to cloud my mind.
I clutch at my heart...
a pause...
I am not alone.

I feel your presence,
A living reminder dangling...
Also, clutching at my heart.
I remember, the promise...
you would never leave.

Eyes adjusting,
the blanket of darkness is lifting.
I hear you calling...
"I am here."
I stand up...

I take a step forward...
I feel no pain.
Fear is slowly vanquished,
the scales tip back...
YOU have won...

I was driving home from my ight out when this came to mind. I wrote it to remind myself that life isn't so lonely and I am not alone, even though sometimes it feels so much like it is. Today, I've learned that in one word, life can be defined as "water." Nourishing, Refreshing, Bringing life, neverending, pure, everything. It can also be a "maze." Confusing, chaotic, whatever...you can feel lost, alone, be in the dark. But close your eyes and try not to concentrate on the RIGHT NOW, there's a bigger picture. If we're in a maze, it was created for a purpose, and although we do not know what it is, we will one day.

I feel like I'm all over the place lately. "Be selfish," they say. You need to put yourself @ no. 1... I say maybe you're right...hesitatingly. That can't be...it isn't like that. Selflessness is the bottom line. So what if I'm tired? So what if I haven't had any alone time...any "Jay" time...make use of EVERY moment...there IS "Jay" time...you just have to notice it's sitting there...maybe not in big huge slots...but in little cracks and crevices...one minute of meditation is worth more than a hundred dollars right now. The inspiration in my life never put himself first...as a matter of fact, he put himself so far behind everyone else...he Died. And maybe that's how I should see things...nothing I can do would ever be so selfless as that act. I get so caught up w/ myself sometimes...I really wish I could step outside my body and slap myself...well, I'm tired... this must make absolutely no sense at all...thank goodness I cater to a very small audience...if any audience at all.

Well, me and Lan finally got the chance to talk...I can't believe she's getting married in a lil over 6 weeks. My goodness, we've grown up together and she's like my other lil sister...and now I have one sister that's a mom, and another one that'll be a wife...I'm laggin dude...She asked me who I was dating, he he he...who AM I dating? Apparently no one...oh wells...my time'll come...I just know.


I am a zoned out intern...
Concentration seems to be eluding me today. I have a lot of work to make up for because I already missed a day due to Star Wars...but I seem to care very little about work today. I would rather be cleaning my apartment....ahhhh...the feeling of a clean apartment. To know that the countertops are 99.9% disinfected...that the mirrors are streak-free, and, the smell of lemon-fresh pine sol...I think I am obsessed. But hey, a clean apartment says a lot about a man, don't ya think?

Feelings/Emotions...
Another profound discovery!!! We are a mess of emotions and feelings and how to or how not to deal with them!!! He he he...it's crazy. You feel a certain way, and you don't know why...or you think you shouldn't feel that certain way. Hello, people, it is not possible to control how you feel in a certain situation, according to my experience of course....and this is just MY POV so don't trip. If we are in agreement, then cool, if not, then cool... A feeling or emotion is a reaction, not controllable because you can't stop a feeling...BUT....HOW you deal with that feeling is the important part. This is where our sense of ethics, morals, what-ever comes in to play. You feel a certain way and you wanna do this, but you KNOW it's not right...so you Don't do it... See, case closed...you felt it, you couldn't stop it because you knew it wasn't possible to block a feeling, but you dealt w/ it...good job...congratulations... Well, it gets complicated at times too I guess...I have questions myself...how do you know if you're just hiding feelings or if you're actually doing what IS right opposed to denying them? That's where I'm completely lost, but hey, we're all on our paths experiencing life and it's up to us to find out...

I am an insomniatic jedi master...

Wow, Star Wars was a lot better than I had expected. I'm not totally sure wheter or not it was worth waiting over 24 hours in line for, but oh that's the way the ball bounces. It was good to get such a random bunch of people together...I love bringing ppl together. It "..consistently puts a smile to my face..." Like I've told my friends many times...I think I am totally a social butterfly...I love being w/ people, whether it's 1 or 1 hundred...people make my world go round. :) I am trying to keep my energy up, but this bunny is just runnin on fumes...gotta take a nap tonight...oh boy....just a few more hours and I can go to my other job...yay...can you sense the excitement?

Interactions
Why is it that although I love interaction...I'm no good at reading inbetween lines. You'd think that experience would bring forth wisdom, but not in this case. I'm blind..blind as a bat, for lack of a better comparison. Maybe I'm just truly dense...not able to make such an interpretation, or perhaps I am just overly analytical? I'd probably have to agree w/ the latter. But is it so wrong to be analytical? Not of others, mind you, because it is none of our places to judge but God's alone. I think maintaining a certain level of analitical-ness is healthy, it keeps ourselves on our toes, and keeps us...growing as we tread down this lil river we like to call life. Everything in moderation...I'd like to think that that saying holds true for any scenario?

Why is it that it is so difficult to actually find someone that you can sit together with and stare at each other for hours upon end without ever uttering a word? Why is it that after 24 years of my life...after all the different types of relationships and people I've met, I haven't found the one who, "...completes me?" Maybe I ask for too much, maybe no one can actually fit all those things I want in that one...but I dont' think so. Call it picky, but that's how it's gonna be, otherwise, I'd be "settling." And I don't just "settle." That's admitting a defeat I will not admit...the battle rages on...

I am the busy little bumblembee...

Another busy day it seems...after another busy night. I swear, when this week is over, I'm going to take a long vacation...from life. Just go somewhere...a lil corner in some part of my lil world where no one can bother me or no one will know where I am. Just some quiet time in my lil corner...

A topic that's been plaguing my wee lil brain...
Miscommunication...we ALWAYS talk about it...we ALWAYS want to avoid it...we NEVER do. It has come to my realization that we tend to BS one another about communicating and being "honest" w/ one another. Passivity, complacency, all words that come up to mind when I think about communication. Too many things left unsaid, too many things bottled up...walk the walk if you're gonna talk the talk. People, we NEED to be honest w/ one another...don't talk to someone ELSE when you're frustrated about something your friend has done, or if you feel a certain way. CONFRONT!!! Approach...there is a simple solution to things like this, and that is COMMUNICATION...we need to really talk to one another...I'm sick of hearing things through other people...and yes I too am guilty of it...but I plan to turn things around and try NOT to do this anymore....a good friend once told me, "Silence is the voice of complicity..." Take that for what it means and speak up...

Exercise
Definitely need more of it...I have a running bet w/ a friend of mine that I will lose the gut that I've purchased in about three weeks....looks like I'm gonna lose that one. Man, but aside from the weekly basketball game and the occasional run...I definitely gotta hit the gym, hit the weights, and definitely run more. Don't you just hate how those health gym establishments reel us in? Well, they got me...paying for a membership I've hardly used over the past month...man, I'll show them... ha ha ha!

Ahhh...monday. Yuck, Monday...the beginning of another week...he he he. I'm only being like this because of the long ass weekend I've had...I was seriously running on like 5 hours of sleep for the whole weekend!!! So naturally, I'm still a tad bit tired and I would rather be in my bed asleep than sitting at my desk doing work. Plus, I seem to be falling into a food coma after eating at Ebisu...this Ramen place in Huntington Beach...hella good...3.5 out of 5 stars. Chris, Viv, Aaron, and me(I know, grammatically incorrect...but who cares) ate lunch together there...Man I'm so tired....I was talking to my friend Kaye(aka lil K) on IM this morning and telling her that I really need some time on my own just to be alone and reflect and stuff. She couldn't totally feel where I was coming from, but she got the hint. Don't you ever feel so God damn busy that you don't even HAVE TIME to yourself? I think it sucks major doodoo. I've been quite busy lately...taking care of London, Mother's day stuff, birthdays, hanging out, catching up w/ close friends, helping friends, etc. Man it gets taxing when you don't even have one day to spend a couple of hours and just, "be a bum." I need some Calgon...

Well, it's officially Mother's Day, and what am I doing? I am @ Kinko's here in Westwood...trying to finish my lil gift for my mom, Jos, and my cousin Irene...all moms. I wrote a lil poem for them, which I'm gonna print out on some nice stationary I found...and give it to each of them with a single red rose? Well, that's all I could afford, but I hope they know it comes from the bottom of my heart. Plus Verwin's sleeping over and we're gonna head to the Flower Mart at the butt crack of Dawn!!! Then, it's time to cook lunch for the fam. Man, what a long day it'll be tomorrow...like it wasn't long already today. Did the Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer...woke up at 6:00 AM and headed to the coliseum...it was dope...gotta do a lot more things like that. I'm really really glad I got to spend some quality time w/ my mom, pop, and lil London today...I love them all so much. And I told my mom today that after Jos was done w/ school and she didn't need my help as much anymore, I was thinking about moving...if I can't find a job within the next year. All I can do is continue to pray and look for the signs God is giving me...well, that's it...don't wanna chill here too long...so...til next time...God Bless

Is it just me? Or is keeping a journal kinda tough? Well, maybe it's just me, but I think it's still kinda tough. It's a lil hard to write late @ night when the bed is offering all it's comfort and warmth to you...saying, "Jay! Forget the journal, you're too tired!!!" And unfortunately, the bed usually wins. So here is my attempt at a solution...mind you, I will still try to write in my journal..just because...I've been, but here is another avenue for me to post random thoughts to the one other person who doesn't care what I say, no matter how late, how early, how stupid, how boring...me! So thanks to Tammy who got me to set up this spot...look out blogworld here I come! okay, shh....I have to get back to work now...